october entries

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october??????? 4th: 9:22 am

im in math class lol

how is it october. i cant say im not excited, but what the hell man! bro! dude! home slice, skillet even! where did the time go?

october 6th: 4:10 pm

believe it or not you have to actually do math in math class

things have gotten alot better, one bad week should not have put a damper on my good mood like that, but what can you do. my boyfriend got a car, so thats weird and good. i might be going to see a mitski concert????????!?!?!?!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?? i am praying to god every waking moment that i can go see this concert and i dont even believe in him. im supposed to go with a few friends but it all depends on if we can get tickets or not. it lowkey sucks that the resellers are getting to the presales before the actual fans that sucks really hard alot. i am just hoping we can get tickets. i really wanna go. my dad said that mitski was the "lamest music" hes ever heard in his life. i wanted to kick my dad.

i dunno, things are weird and good lately. just weird. and good. i think

october 16th: 6:02 pm

things have sucked

this sucks


i chopped all my hair off today because i dunno. its really short now. i would usually say im happy with it, because i like my hair short this way, but i just feel really really weird about it. i wanna dye it all purple or orange or something stupid like that. next impulse decision will be to shave it all off, go bald, fuck it. very frustrated. very really frustrated with myself.

october 20th: tape is over all of my clocks

its getting bad again

october 24th: 7:49 pm

things are better things are looking up

i shouldnt be so negative. things are better

october 28th: 8:38 pm


lots of things are going on. why is october almost over. matching with my boyfriend for halloween. im being a vampire, hes being a sexy vampire. i miss my boyfriend i miss him alot alot. today i was very anxious for all of it. listening to my fall '21 playlist and feeling feelings. i miss running around in the rain with my friends. that was very freeing and i would do anything to be giggling and running around soaking wet again. instead im fixing the hole where said rain gets in, to stop my mind from wandering. i think there might be something wrong with me. i dunno. things are weird and hard and good all at the same time. i am trying very hard to just be good and happy but shit is hard sometimes

trying to look forward to halloween. i am trying to look forward to halloween

i remember when this blog was all peaches and cream. blogging about going to the lake with friends and meeting my boyfriend and falling in love, the whole shebang. itll go back to that soon, i think

if youre reading this shoot me a message. i might really really appreciate it

october 30th: 12:15 pm

im writing songs again. i dont know if this is a good or bad thing. i havent written a really good happy upbeat song yet. maybe one or two, but most of them have a twang of sad in them which im not quite always happy about. im sure my bandmate is going to ghost me after he hears about what im planning on doing. i miss my friend in ireland, hes supposed to visit in july and i am really looking forward to that and only that. im trying to be excited for halloween but i cant seem to be anything but angry or sad lately, which sucks major ass. i think i need to like. i dunno. i wanna go walk around by myself for a bit, so i think i'll do that

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